HydraCarina

So, 2023 is almost over. This year was a pretty exhausting one, lots of negative energy... I'm still heartbroken over all the drama in my family, but I'm slowly learning to set up healthy boundaries... and learning to accept that maybe some people just aren't meant to get along, blood or not. And their drama is not my drama. And I'm allowed to be my own person and have my own life.

I had many interesting (or "interesting") experiences this year. I had my last wisdom tooth removed, I moved (again), I bought a new car... I had Covid for the first time. I did some travelling. I had plantar fasciitis in my right foot (and it was PAINFUL!). I finished one of my comics, 'Correcting Injustice'.

I'm very excited for next year. I have big plans, both life-wise and art-wise. I don't want to reveal too much, but I can tell you one thing. I'm going to do that "Draw Something Every Day" challenge again. The one I did in 2021:

https://www.deviantart.com/hydracarina/art/2021-s-Draw-Something-Every-Day-Summary-902586417 I'll be posting my creations on my Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nadra_hydracarina/?hl=fi Don't expect anything big and complex - it's mostly going to be quick little doodles. Okay, that's pretty much what I wanted to say. Thanks for sticking around with me this year! I hope you will stick around next year as well. Happy New Year 2024!

This bunny I drew in Paint represents my year 2022. I don't know what to think about it. On one hand, some good things happened. I finally graduated. My boyfriend moved in with me. Both were awesome things. But on the other hand, I had a lot of work stress, some resurfacing childhood trauma, and a lot of problems with my family. Not to sound too dramatic or anything, but my family is falling apart and I don't think it can be fixed. I had to go low contact with some people, and I'm willing to go no contact if their toxic behavior doesn't change. I'm absolutely heartbroken. But I also feel... free? I had gotten so used to being used, controlled, guilt-tripped and manipulated that I didn't even realize it was happening. But now I'm starting to see that I've been losing myself for years... So yeah. That was my 2022. I sure hope 2023 will be better!

Well, maybe more exciting for me than for you guys, but anyway...

Backstory: I haven't had a good night's sleep in 8 months. And I'm not exaggerating. On the best days I'm just tired but can still somewhat function. On the worst days I'm a zombie and can't get anything done (or do stupid things, like a few days ago I almost microwaved one of my orchids). The ventilation system thingy (not sure what it's called in English, or even in Finnish) of this building must be broken or something. It's been making this extremely annoying noise for 8 months. A noise that comes through earplugs and earmuffs. A noise that's impossible for me to ignore. It has been keeping me awake. I only sleep when I get so tired that I just kind of... die? And that's not healthy. Two nights ago it was so bad, I tried sleeping on the balcony, even though the nights here are still pretty cold. I'm starting in a new job on Monday, in a hospital. And I want to be not-dead for the sake of the patients. Whatever is wrong with the ventilation system thingy seems to be unfixable, based on the fact that I've made so many complaints and nothing has happened. I hate this apartment anyway and I'm tired of fighting.

News: I went to check out an interesting apartment yesterday and fell in love. And I got it! I'll get the keys today and start moving apartments tomorrow! Most of the moving will happen later, but I can start tomorrow! The new place is sooo amazing, it's nearly perfect! I've been dreaming of a place like that for years. I love it, and I'm sure the kitty will love it too. It's (in my opinion) in the most beautiful part of the city, right next to a big recreation area and a nature conservation area. And it's so close to my work that I can walk there in 15 minutes! And most of the neighbors are nice old people, and they're hopefully not too loud.

So. Because I will soon be able to sleep better (hopefully), I will also be able to finish my school stuff and draw more often. My school days are almost over, I can see the finish line. If nothing bad happens, I should graduate in summer. And after that, I can start drawing more again! Most of the comic pages I've been uploading on Patreon and Deviantart lately had been waiting "almost-finished" on my computer since last summer.

Hi! I hope you guys are well.

First, the Spring Update.

I'm pretty busy and tired right now, so I'm not very active on here. It's only temporary. I'm currently doing my very last internship. This is my 3rd week, and after this week, there's going to be 2 more weeks. I'm so ready for this to be over. Not that I don't like learning, but I'm just sooo tired. I'm in a strange city I've never been to before, and I have to share a flat with strangers. I'm too old to have roommates...

Linneakitty is staying with my grandparents. They're in good paws.

I'll try to be a little more active on here after the internship ends, at least for a while. I miraculously got a summer job in my home city, so I won't have to move anywhere like I did last summer, when I had two apartments. I'll be starting in early May.

--- And now, a little story.

My mother sent me photos of some drawings and paintings I did in school as a child. As soon as I saw this one...

... I felt a wave of hurt and anger. Because the memory is not so nice. I made this one in the beginning of the first grade, in the beginning of my school life. But this is not the original piece. The original one was much prettier. But a stupid boy from my class stole it and presented it to the teacher as his. And when I told the stupid teacher that it was actually mine, she either didn't believe me or just didn't care, and made me do another one. I couldn't transfer the "feel" of the original into this second one because I was so angry, but at least I tried. And I was accused of trying to copy the stupid boy's work, even though it was mine... I hated that boy and that teacher. Good thing the boy was moved to another class the next year, and my class got a new teacher who was the best teacher ever.

It's been over 20 years since that terrific, unforgivable crime happened, and I still got mad when I remembered it.

I was doing my "morning" workout when I noticed an old, black briefcase under my bed. I've seen it everyday, but until now, I hadn't really thought about it. You know the feeling? You see something but don't really see it. My Dad gave the briefcase to me over a year ago and said it contains some old drawings me and my sister did as kids. But somehow I forgot about it. Until today!

This beautiful piece of art was the second Lion King drawing of my life!!! I drew it the same day as the first one, but sadly the first one has gone missing. It was Simba and Kiara nuzzling.

But I'm so glad I found the second one! I still remember when I drew this. I was 7 or 8 years old (I'm now almost 30), sitting at the table in the living room of my grandparents' old house. My grandparents were watching the news, my sister was drawing cats, and I was drawing lions...

I'm... not sure what's happening with Simba and Kovu. The noses in this are so majestic. And the eyebrows! I remember really struggling with them. I'm really impressed by some of the little details - Kiara's nose wrinkle, the "nose lines" in Simba and Nala's noses (even though Nala shouldn't have it), the teeth, the paw pads...

I also found some other old drawings, but they're not as old as this. Maybe about 15 years old. In one of my old fan theories, Nuka and Vitani were Scar's kids, but Kovu wasn't. His father looked exactly like him, except his nose was dark brown and he had dark ear rims even as an adult. And Vitani had a boyfriend that looked exactly like Kovu, except he had light fur under his eyes.